Over the hills, and far away...
11 December 2012 | India, Secunderabad
… is where (s)he will return one day.
For some reason that one sentence, sung by Nightwish (you know, that “gothic rock” band and a band I used to listen to a lot when I was 14/15 years old) captures much of the last period of time. I wrote in my last entry that so many things had happened prior to it being written, and that I would tell you a bit about it in this blog. So that I what I intend to do this time; to reflect on the last three weeks and also to think a little bit ahead.
Because it has dawned on me that I have only 2,5 weeks left in this extraordinary country that is India. And this feels rather strange, on the one hand because I do not feel like I am ‘done’ here, while on the other hand the idea of going home is something I have been craving for during the past three weeks. Especially from mid November to the beginning of December I felt like I had had better days. But, no worries, I feel much better now :)
In those two weeks I felt like I had to process a lot, both physically and mentally. There were a number of issues that all come down on my plate simultaneously, and I did not really know where to start eating to digest it, so to say. One of these things was something I had to do at the internship. I had to present my view on "handloom as a technology". The assignment was given to me one week in advance, but the topic was so broad that I first had to find a way to cut it down to something swallowable.
That I managed to do, and while I was still nervous for the whole exercise I was also fairly confident that one way or another I would manage to come up with something both intelligible and doable. When I finally gave the presentation to a bunch of people of who were either more knowledgeable about handloom, or about Technology Studies, or both, I got many comments. The comments were related to my work, to what I had presented, and I received new ideas for doing research and other open questions to think about.
With hindsight I think it is rather sad that I did not really find the time to think about these questions more deeply, because during that same week I was invited by my professor to assist him and someone else at a conference on the development of Nanotechnologies. I really liked the opportunity and thus I spent two days out of the office and attended the conference.
However, it was during my absence that I got into a misunderstanding with one of my colleague/bosses. My intentions were far from causing frustrations, yet this is what happened. And then what?! I found myself from one moment to another in a state of utter confusion. Where had things gone wrong so that now people were agitated? At me? I am usually fairly skilled in avoiding such situations (sometimes by being or taking (more) control, sometimes by initiating (more) communication , and sometimes by working around the disturbing factor (be that human or non-human)). But this time I felt like being slapped in the face; hard. Was this culture shock on the workfloor? I think it was.
One of my supervisors told me about the best way to interpret and deal with the situation, but it was only after a talk with an other Indianfrom outside from the organization that I understood better how the Indians think about work and the communication between colleagues.
Because part of the confusion was about me asking for time from my supervisors to talk through my work. But the Indians are not used to that. They do their own work, and you do yours. And that is it, mostly..! And the very act of asking for a moment to share thoughts or troubles is – or can be – seen as a way for you to put your own problems on someone else’s plate. This is so utterly opposite of what I am used to and what I have learned at university (the whole PBL system is focused on sharing thoughts and invoking the input of others to enrich your own view) that I really did not know very well what to do. It is not like I asked for continuous assistance – I rather prefer to work on my own – but every now and then I would like to hear whether others (in this case my superiors) think I am on the right track or not. But looking at that process of asking for feedback from the point of view that had been explained to me by the Indians themselves, I guess the entire affair can be put both into place and into perspective.
It took me almost a week to digest it all – both the presentation and its aftermath and the communication confrontation at work. And yet I do not think I have been well able to think through the recommendations given after the presentation. But I did conclude together with my professor that it has been good that I had to go through the insecurity that I felt during that one week. He argued that my internship would have been more superficial if I would not have had a clash of some sort with (the people from) this country. And I agree. It has taught me something about this culture, about that of my own and about myself. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, right? :P Or what is the other one? Something about failing now and failing better next time?
A next thing which I can potentially fail to execute properly is my last project of this internship: “exploratory” interviews with people who were weavers by profession but who came to Hyderabad to find a new life with more money to earn and to spend. While all the tumult of the previous week was taking place I also had to come up with a questionnaire that could be used in these interviews. The interviews, in turn, would not become as much as a full fletched survey, but were more “exploratory” in nature... I can still see the face of my younger colleague when he read this in the title of the questionnaire.. He disapproved. But, ah well, this is what I do ;)
After a first trial with the questionnaire I made a second version which was more fluent and the filled-out sheets will be analyzed later this week – by myself – to write a brief report on the first findings from these interviews and to make suggestions for some further research that can be done by the organization at a later stage.
Oh, and meanwhile I also had to move out of our apartment and I was basically homeless. This added quite significantly to the overall level of stress that I experienced. First I was able to stay in this one apartment, together with my former flatmate. But “yes” became “maybe, because”, became “probably not”, became “it’s not possible”...
The weekend after I had to move out - and did not have a permanent place to stay yet - I went on a wonderful weekendtrip to Hampi – a gorgeous historical site with many old temples, clean air, lush trees and good food (oh, and fellow white tourists.. which felt sort of strange to be amongst after 3 months of living with almost only Indians!).
Unfortunately, when we got back from Hampi I got extremely sick in the bus. Throwing up-style, and I could barely move when I got into the bed in the house of the family with whom I could stay during the intermediate period from my old to my new place. During that monday afternoon I got the message I had to move to again to another apartment, but there I would be able to stay untill I would leave India. So, after almost a day of sleep, more sickness and feeling wary I packed my stuff in the evening once again and moved to this new place. I knew the people who would host me, and I just wanted the whole I-don’t-know-where-I’ll-sleep-tonight thing to be over.
Moving to the new place was in itself done quickly, but I realized I had gathered quite a lot of ‘stuff’ (as is my style, I guess ;)). Mostly presents for my family, though :P I moved into this great house next to my host family’s house. My bed stands in a room that is basically a corridor from the kitchen area to the bedroom on the other end of the hall and so my new housemate always has to pass through this space when she goes to her bedroom, but that is truly the only disadvantage I can think of. The couple who owns this house – it previously was inhabited by his mother – wanted to ‘activate’ the house again. Which is where I came in. So during the first couple of days I notified them of any faulty things in the house (the geiser, internet, fridge), but I am (and feel) warmly invited to join the family for breakfast and dinner and I can take food for lunch also. So when it comes to my accomodation everything really turned out for the best, I think!
And then we arrive – finally – at the now! Yaay. I am currently in the process of gathering all the materials I have worked on during the internship and I’ve been asked to put all of it in one document. So I am re-reading my own work – which also helps to think about all those things I have learned – and I will hopefully be done with the entire thing halfway next week. Then we can get it all printed, make a second copy for myself, and then the internship is officially finished. I have to admit.. I am looking forward to the moment I will have my own copy of this document in my hands. But before it is time for that there are still so many people I have/want to meet, things I want to do and, last but not least.. I have to finish my book of puzzles ;) I do not want to take that back to Holland, haha.
Ok peepz, this has been the longest blog thus far. I hope it was interesting enough to continue reading, but I know that some of you wanted to know What The Heck kept me from talking to you the last 3 weeks ;) I promise I’ll make it up to you.
I’m sure I’ll tell you about my last week at work, and all the relaxedness I hope to experience during my last days in Hyderabad. And after that there is the final adventure of the year: Singapore! On the 28th I’ll fly there to visit friends and celebrate New Years. On the 1st of January I’ll fly back to Europe. I am looking forward to see many of you back again. But before that I hope I can enjoy these last 2,5 weeks in this captivating, inspiring, tiring and in many ways also pretty area. Over the hills, and far away, where I am fairly sure I will return one day.
For some reason that one sentence, sung by Nightwish (you know, that “gothic rock” band and a band I used to listen to a lot when I was 14/15 years old) captures much of the last period of time. I wrote in my last entry that so many things had happened prior to it being written, and that I would tell you a bit about it in this blog. So that I what I intend to do this time; to reflect on the last three weeks and also to think a little bit ahead.
Because it has dawned on me that I have only 2,5 weeks left in this extraordinary country that is India. And this feels rather strange, on the one hand because I do not feel like I am ‘done’ here, while on the other hand the idea of going home is something I have been craving for during the past three weeks. Especially from mid November to the beginning of December I felt like I had had better days. But, no worries, I feel much better now :)
In those two weeks I felt like I had to process a lot, both physically and mentally. There were a number of issues that all come down on my plate simultaneously, and I did not really know where to start eating to digest it, so to say. One of these things was something I had to do at the internship. I had to present my view on "handloom as a technology". The assignment was given to me one week in advance, but the topic was so broad that I first had to find a way to cut it down to something swallowable.
That I managed to do, and while I was still nervous for the whole exercise I was also fairly confident that one way or another I would manage to come up with something both intelligible and doable. When I finally gave the presentation to a bunch of people of who were either more knowledgeable about handloom, or about Technology Studies, or both, I got many comments. The comments were related to my work, to what I had presented, and I received new ideas for doing research and other open questions to think about.
With hindsight I think it is rather sad that I did not really find the time to think about these questions more deeply, because during that same week I was invited by my professor to assist him and someone else at a conference on the development of Nanotechnologies. I really liked the opportunity and thus I spent two days out of the office and attended the conference.
However, it was during my absence that I got into a misunderstanding with one of my colleague/bosses. My intentions were far from causing frustrations, yet this is what happened. And then what?! I found myself from one moment to another in a state of utter confusion. Where had things gone wrong so that now people were agitated? At me? I am usually fairly skilled in avoiding such situations (sometimes by being or taking (more) control, sometimes by initiating (more) communication , and sometimes by working around the disturbing factor (be that human or non-human)). But this time I felt like being slapped in the face; hard. Was this culture shock on the workfloor? I think it was.
One of my supervisors told me about the best way to interpret and deal with the situation, but it was only after a talk with an other Indianfrom outside from the organization that I understood better how the Indians think about work and the communication between colleagues.
Because part of the confusion was about me asking for time from my supervisors to talk through my work. But the Indians are not used to that. They do their own work, and you do yours. And that is it, mostly..! And the very act of asking for a moment to share thoughts or troubles is – or can be – seen as a way for you to put your own problems on someone else’s plate. This is so utterly opposite of what I am used to and what I have learned at university (the whole PBL system is focused on sharing thoughts and invoking the input of others to enrich your own view) that I really did not know very well what to do. It is not like I asked for continuous assistance – I rather prefer to work on my own – but every now and then I would like to hear whether others (in this case my superiors) think I am on the right track or not. But looking at that process of asking for feedback from the point of view that had been explained to me by the Indians themselves, I guess the entire affair can be put both into place and into perspective.
It took me almost a week to digest it all – both the presentation and its aftermath and the communication confrontation at work. And yet I do not think I have been well able to think through the recommendations given after the presentation. But I did conclude together with my professor that it has been good that I had to go through the insecurity that I felt during that one week. He argued that my internship would have been more superficial if I would not have had a clash of some sort with (the people from) this country. And I agree. It has taught me something about this culture, about that of my own and about myself. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, right? :P Or what is the other one? Something about failing now and failing better next time?
A next thing which I can potentially fail to execute properly is my last project of this internship: “exploratory” interviews with people who were weavers by profession but who came to Hyderabad to find a new life with more money to earn and to spend. While all the tumult of the previous week was taking place I also had to come up with a questionnaire that could be used in these interviews. The interviews, in turn, would not become as much as a full fletched survey, but were more “exploratory” in nature... I can still see the face of my younger colleague when he read this in the title of the questionnaire.. He disapproved. But, ah well, this is what I do ;)
After a first trial with the questionnaire I made a second version which was more fluent and the filled-out sheets will be analyzed later this week – by myself – to write a brief report on the first findings from these interviews and to make suggestions for some further research that can be done by the organization at a later stage.
Oh, and meanwhile I also had to move out of our apartment and I was basically homeless. This added quite significantly to the overall level of stress that I experienced. First I was able to stay in this one apartment, together with my former flatmate. But “yes” became “maybe, because”, became “probably not”, became “it’s not possible”...
The weekend after I had to move out - and did not have a permanent place to stay yet - I went on a wonderful weekendtrip to Hampi – a gorgeous historical site with many old temples, clean air, lush trees and good food (oh, and fellow white tourists.. which felt sort of strange to be amongst after 3 months of living with almost only Indians!).
Unfortunately, when we got back from Hampi I got extremely sick in the bus. Throwing up-style, and I could barely move when I got into the bed in the house of the family with whom I could stay during the intermediate period from my old to my new place. During that monday afternoon I got the message I had to move to again to another apartment, but there I would be able to stay untill I would leave India. So, after almost a day of sleep, more sickness and feeling wary I packed my stuff in the evening once again and moved to this new place. I knew the people who would host me, and I just wanted the whole I-don’t-know-where-I’ll-sleep-tonight thing to be over.
Moving to the new place was in itself done quickly, but I realized I had gathered quite a lot of ‘stuff’ (as is my style, I guess ;)). Mostly presents for my family, though :P I moved into this great house next to my host family’s house. My bed stands in a room that is basically a corridor from the kitchen area to the bedroom on the other end of the hall and so my new housemate always has to pass through this space when she goes to her bedroom, but that is truly the only disadvantage I can think of. The couple who owns this house – it previously was inhabited by his mother – wanted to ‘activate’ the house again. Which is where I came in. So during the first couple of days I notified them of any faulty things in the house (the geiser, internet, fridge), but I am (and feel) warmly invited to join the family for breakfast and dinner and I can take food for lunch also. So when it comes to my accomodation everything really turned out for the best, I think!
And then we arrive – finally – at the now! Yaay. I am currently in the process of gathering all the materials I have worked on during the internship and I’ve been asked to put all of it in one document. So I am re-reading my own work – which also helps to think about all those things I have learned – and I will hopefully be done with the entire thing halfway next week. Then we can get it all printed, make a second copy for myself, and then the internship is officially finished. I have to admit.. I am looking forward to the moment I will have my own copy of this document in my hands. But before it is time for that there are still so many people I have/want to meet, things I want to do and, last but not least.. I have to finish my book of puzzles ;) I do not want to take that back to Holland, haha.
Ok peepz, this has been the longest blog thus far. I hope it was interesting enough to continue reading, but I know that some of you wanted to know What The Heck kept me from talking to you the last 3 weeks ;) I promise I’ll make it up to you.
I’m sure I’ll tell you about my last week at work, and all the relaxedness I hope to experience during my last days in Hyderabad. And after that there is the final adventure of the year: Singapore! On the 28th I’ll fly there to visit friends and celebrate New Years. On the 1st of January I’ll fly back to Europe. I am looking forward to see many of you back again. But before that I hope I can enjoy these last 2,5 weeks in this captivating, inspiring, tiring and in many ways also pretty area. Over the hills, and far away, where I am fairly sure I will return one day.
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